Day 1 Post 65 day Juice Cleanse

Tonight's soundtrack is brought to you by Zouk Summer Hits 2012. Growing up, world music was a staple in our house as it seemed that my dad listened to everything. My favourite groups were Kassav and Zouk Machine. I remember wanting a long ponytail like one of the girls in Zouk Machine and being extremely upset at my dad when he would not let me get it.

Day 1 Post 65 day Juice Cleanse and I have not yet broken fast. I had a dentist appointment this morning and so I did not eat before I left the house. After running errands, I stopped by the farmer's market with the intention of letting my mind guide me on what I would get. Once I started shopping, I realized that I am not ready to end my fast. The are two main reason for this:

1.) As previously stated, while my cleanse did not begin as a means for weight loss it morphed into a primary focus unfortunately. I have never had a magic number I wanted to attain and even though I have lost a considerable amount of weight, the image I see in the mirror does not satisfy me. Because I can be extremely dramatic and over imaginative, I am hyper alert to any signs of an eating disorder but I love food too much for this to happen. Furthermore, I have started consuming larger amounts of juice than I did at the start of the cleanse so I know that I am not starving myself.

2.) I feel ill prepared for life after the cleanse as I do not have specific workout routines in place to maintain and sustain the weight I have lost and I am deathly afraid of gaining it all back. Food wise, I have tons of healthy recipes I cannot wait to try out but I want to make sure that the spike in calories is countered by regular workouts. It literally boggles my mind that while I was able to abstain from eating for over 60 days, I cannot muster enough will power to engage in regular work outs. To be honest, workouts are muddy waters for me because I do have the desire but lack the know how and that discourages me. During the cleanse, I tried to work on motivating myself and educating myself so that I could structure workouts for myself but this has not been too successful.

Once I had acknowledged the reasons why I was not going to end the fast, I began making plans to deal with the issues I have and my first step was to contact a personal trainer friend of mine. I am going to have her work with me for a month and teach me how to work out. One of my issues with working out has been expecting others to motivate me and I know that motivation should come from self. So for now, my cleanse continues with no specific end date in mind as I am simply going to let my mind and body guide me.