Changes!

I am writing this post today in silence. I need to let my thoughts wander and drift even as I write.

I have been consuming a larger than average amount of orange juice lately and I believe this is because my body is pretty much done with this whole juicing experience and wants food so my usual juice concoctions were not cutting it. I have been going through a bag or two every other day sometimes even a bag a day: a bag contains about 8 oranges. A couple of times this week, I had a friend pick up 4 bags as she headed towards my house. The second time I asked her to stop by the store, she expressed surprise at the fact that I was going through the oranges so quickly. When she said this I could not help but think about all the times I had gone through a box of cookies, a bag of chips, a bottle of soda/pop too quickly and felt guilty about having consumed so much in so little time. A lot of times, I would lie about having shared the snack or having spilled it or even plumping up the bag to make it look like there was more in it. However, presently I am very proud that I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables! I have read from people who say that there is no moderation when it comes to fruits and vegetables as they are healthy and one cannot over do it on healthy. While I am not entirely convinced that I agree with those statements, I know that as long as I keep eating the right foods and including exercise in my life, I should feel no shame about what I eat nor feel the need to hide evidence of my eating habits.

I have been getting a lot of questions lately about my weight loss and juicing habits. I am more than happy to answer anyone's questions about my routine and juice recipes but lately I am starting to feel like when I am asked questions, they are purely from a weight loss stand point. I have admitted that towards the end of my cleanse weight loss became a more prominent factor but it is still not the primary reason why I started this cleanse. I have tried to explain this to people when they ask questions but I get one of two reactions: either they think I am holding out on my weight loss secrets or they seem to become impatient and keep redirecting me to talk about the weight loss. While I have become an inspiration to quite a few, prompting them to explore the wonderful world of juicing, I am left feeling responsible for their success and failure. I would hate for anyone to feel like I gave out incorrect information or tried to sabotage their attempts at weight loss. I guess I have to find a way to answer questions that leaves both parties walking away feeling well-informed and comfortable with the exchange.

Update: It is day 70 and I have still not eaten. I am not just scared to eat now I don't know what to eat! The plan was to break fast with avocado and cucumber but I have no desire to eat them. I am both content to keep juicing but also ready to eat! Conundrum! I have a 5K coming up in 2 weeks and while I am confident about running while juicing, that will put me at close to 100 days on juice and I don't know that I necessarily want to do that. I feel like I have gone so long without food that I don't know how to eat anymore. Weird I know. Even weirder? I go to sleep watching videos of people cooking food. Once upon a time, that would have made me ravenous but now I just catalogue the recipes I am going to try when I start eating. As of today, I have decided to end it at 72 days which is in 2 days. We'll see how that goes.

Check out my other blog by clicking here, where I share the randomness that is my life!

Day 1 Post 65 day Juice Cleanse

Tonight's soundtrack is brought to you by Zouk Summer Hits 2012. Growing up, world music was a staple in our house as it seemed that my dad listened to everything. My favourite groups were Kassav and Zouk Machine. I remember wanting a long ponytail like one of the girls in Zouk Machine and being extremely upset at my dad when he would not let me get it.

Day 1 Post 65 day Juice Cleanse and I have not yet broken fast. I had a dentist appointment this morning and so I did not eat before I left the house. After running errands, I stopped by the farmer's market with the intention of letting my mind guide me on what I would get. Once I started shopping, I realized that I am not ready to end my fast. The are two main reason for this:

1.) As previously stated, while my cleanse did not begin as a means for weight loss it morphed into a primary focus unfortunately. I have never had a magic number I wanted to attain and even though I have lost a considerable amount of weight, the image I see in the mirror does not satisfy me. Because I can be extremely dramatic and over imaginative, I am hyper alert to any signs of an eating disorder but I love food too much for this to happen. Furthermore, I have started consuming larger amounts of juice than I did at the start of the cleanse so I know that I am not starving myself.

2.) I feel ill prepared for life after the cleanse as I do not have specific workout routines in place to maintain and sustain the weight I have lost and I am deathly afraid of gaining it all back. Food wise, I have tons of healthy recipes I cannot wait to try out but I want to make sure that the spike in calories is countered by regular workouts. It literally boggles my mind that while I was able to abstain from eating for over 60 days, I cannot muster enough will power to engage in regular work outs. To be honest, workouts are muddy waters for me because I do have the desire but lack the know how and that discourages me. During the cleanse, I tried to work on motivating myself and educating myself so that I could structure workouts for myself but this has not been too successful.

Once I had acknowledged the reasons why I was not going to end the fast, I began making plans to deal with the issues I have and my first step was to contact a personal trainer friend of mine. I am going to have her work with me for a month and teach me how to work out. One of my issues with working out has been expecting others to motivate me and I know that motivation should come from self. So for now, my cleanse continues with no specific end date in mind as I am simply going to let my mind and body guide me.

It is over! 65 day juice cleanse complete!

Tonight's soundtrack is brought to you by Wynton Marsalis. I started out listening to Boyz II Men but I found myself singing along and not concentrate on what I was typing, so a change was necessary. As I type this though, I believe this is not the right music for my mood so I am going to switch to Cesaria Evora... Ah, much better! The song Petit Pays does something to me every time I listen to it.

Today marks the official end of my 65 day juice cleanse and I can't pin point one single lasting feeling. I am hella proud of myself for completing it. I don't think I ever doubted myself when I started but I was not so sure of myself before I started it. As I type this, I am filled with extreme pride in myself...I did it! I am  as strong as I know I am and stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I have to say it again so that it can sink in: I went 65 days on fruit and vegetable juice (except for the occasional soup/broth) and did not let myself get tempted by food! I am nostalgic about my cleanse coming to an end. I am scared of what is to come and having to make the right decisions about food. I am scared of ending up back where I started. I am scared this euphoric feeling won't last... Enough! No more negativity. I just completed a 65 day juice cleanse and I am proud of myself. I is kind. I is beautiful. I is important and I is strong. This cleanse proves that I can do anything I set my mind to. The only thing that can and will stop me is me. I went on this journey because I wanted to reset the relationship I had with food. I grew up eating 3 meals a day with no dessert and only drank sugary drinks on special occasions. When I started this cleanse, I had to have dessert after eating and while I had cut out sugary drinks, not long before that, water was the occasional and often absent liquid in my life. I did not know how to portion control, did not know what to eat or how much to eat. I alternated between starving myself and over feeding my body. While I did not prep properly for the juice cleanse, the decision to embark on the arduous journey was the result of a realization over a 4 month period that I needed to do better with my life. While I know that all the issues I had before the cleanse have not magically disappeared, I feel more confident about confronting and dealing with them, after all I just completed a 65 day juice cleanse! The FAQ I have been getting are:

Q - Do you feel different?
A - Honestly, I don't. I have read about people feeling lighter, having more energy, clearer skin and clearer thoughts. I have always had tons of energy albeit lazy and I have great skin so there was nothing to measure there. For a while, I felt disappointed that I was not reaching the same higher plane of consciousness some extended juice cleansers were attaining but I have learnt that to each her own and no two journeys will be alike. Besides, I ended up spending more energy stopping myself from eating my co-workers that I did not have time to focus on anything else... You know what? After typing this up I thought about it some more and I have to admit I do feel differently; mentally, I feel stronger. Instead of talking myself out of situations, I can remind myself that I accomplished a near impossible feat to many and conquered it!

Q - How much weight did you lose?
A - While I did not start this cleanse with the sole intention of losing weight, unfortunately it became one of my primary focuses towards the end of the cleanse; the more I lost the more I focused on it I became. In all the years I have been trying to lose weight, I have never had a magic number in mind as I figured I would know when I looked in the mirror. And now 40+ pounds later, the mirror is still silent. A friend once told me to pick an athlete whose body I would like to model myself after and I chose Serena Williams as I believe we have the same body type and this is even more apparent as while I lost 40+ pounds, my hips and butt stayed put while my boobies ran away! ( I am in indefinite mourning for my boobies!)

Q - What is going to be your hugest change post cleanse?
A - As mentioned in a previous post, I had considered becoming a vegan but I have decided instead to simply focus on consuming 90% plant-based nutrition with 10% left for whatever I so choose. At this time I won't be consuming any meat (animal flesh) and shall do so indefinitely at this time. I don't have any rousing speeches against anyone who chooses to consume meat nor do I mind anyone doing so around me, I simply choose not to do so.

Q - What is going to be your first meal?
A - Someone asked if I was going to go on a binge. I hoped they were joking but they looked serious. No I am not going to go on a binge and honestly as I type this right this moment, I do not know that I am going to break fast when I wake up. While the plan was to break fast tomorrow I have to admit that I am scared. It seems like my cleanse and I have almost melded identities; I have been doing it for so long that ending it feels like I am losing something (in addition to my beloved boobies). At work everyone knows me as the girl who does not eat, I have gotten used to thinking about what juice to drink or where to go for a juice fix when I am hungry that the thought of figuring out food is scary. I love to cook and I missed it so much that I was very much looking forward to cooking again but now that the time has come, I am apprehensive! Several books I read advised that if I did not feel ready, to continue with the fast until I was and as of now that is what I shall do. So while my 65 day fast is officially over as today is the day I originally chose to end it, I may not be eating today so stay tuned to tonight's post.

Let's get Vegucated II

Tonight's post is brought to you by Esperanza Spalding. I used to work at a restaurant that had her song Ponta de Areia on constant rotation and while I could not stand the song when I first heard it, it eventually grew on me and I now count it as one of my favourite songs.

I have always thought of veganism as extreme and I do not like extremes; I am a firm believer in moderation. I considered veganism after my cleanse because I want to make sure that the food I put in my body is healthy, free of GMO and I believe a majority of animal products and by products are rife with them. I spent the last couple of weeks researching vegan recipes and I could not wait to try out several of them. Most of the recipes I found are made from scratch so that I know exactly what is going in my food. Thus lay my first issue with the documentary Vegucated. The shopping expedition to the grocery market seemed to be more about finding meat and dairy substitutes than finding healthy options. I was never much of a meat person and I believe that may have to do with that fact that meat was the equivalent of dessert when I was growing up. For dinner we got a piece of meat the size of an ice-cube. If we did well in school, we got the drumstick. In prison boarding school, it was even more drastic with a piece of meat assuming currency like status. Deals were made and debts were paid with a piece of meat. All I wanted to do was serve my time graduate and so I could careless about anything but getting out, therefore meat became very unimportant to me and I eventually became a vegetarian. Even as a vegetarian, I never cared for meat substitutes only trying them because a cousin of mine raved and ranted about certain brands and I figured I would give them a try but truth be told, I did not care for them. Another resolution I made during my fast is to stay as far away from processed foods as I can - fresh is best, and therefore I would not recommend soy dogs, Tofurky, Tofutti or rice dream (ice cream) as the film maker did in this documentary. Instead I would take novices to a farmer's market and show them the beauty of fresh fruits and vegetables. The other bone I have to pick with the documentary is the use of the slaughter-house footage. I do believe it was inserted in the movie for the sole purpose of scaring/guilting meat eaters into giving up meat. The problem with this is that too often, this is a temporary response. There is no foundation behind the fear and the meat eaters eventually find a way to justify eating meat again. Remember my cousin who threw out her Similac and had a heart to heart with her almost 1-year-old? These were her exact words to me when I asked her how her day had been 

" I juiced half of yesterday, preached my vegan religion to anyone who would listen, came home to a meat fest my sister had cooked and backslid. :-( "

She felt horrible and I had to tell not to be. I know she had the best of intentions she had no foundation. She was trying to go from 0 to 200 in less than .00001 seconds and that is not feasible. She has become more interested in my life style and enjoys the documentaries we watch when I visit so I am confident that in time, she will start doing research on her own and build her own foundation for her beliefs whatever they might be.  As for me, I knew that I had to take a step back when someone asked me the  simple question "Why are you becoming a vegan?" and I began preaching about slaughter houses, castration by rubber bands and bolt guns. Now when someone asks what my lifestyle will be post juice cleanse, my response is "90% plant-based and 10% inspiration." I refuse to place restrictions on myself in any facet of my life but my priority is my health and taking good care of my body, so I will continue to play close attention to it and feed it what it needs.

Let's get Vegucated!

Tonight's blogging soundtrack is brought to you by Tracy Chapman. I can remember listening to her music as a child although I had no idea what she was saying. Little did I know what an amazing song writer she is. One night during a power outage, my cousins, sister, and I put on a talent show/competition and I performed Fast Car using the guitar I got for Christmas; I won!

My cousin is my hair dresser. Every couple of weeks, I go to her house so that she can accentuate my already gorgeous features but manipulating my hair. She used to have me bring a movie for us to watch while she did my hair and I would use the opportunity to introduce her to the foreign movie genre. Towards, the end of last year she purchased a Netflix membership and we began watching documentaries every time I would come over. It was while she was doing my hair that I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead prompting me to embark on my own 60 day cleanse. Since then, most of the documentaries I select are based on food and health. A couple of days ago, I was at her house for my bi-weekly appointment and randomly selected the documentary Vegucated. Vegucated is about a Vegan who challenges 3 ordinary people to try the vegan lifestyles for 6 weeks. I was immediately interested because Veganism is a lifestyle choice I have been contemplating once my fast is complete. . The documentary starts out quite humorously with each of the 3 people having varying degrees of difficulty dealing with having to give up meat. And then it takes an unexpected dark turn - the slaughter house footage. It starts with a scene where we see the people in the documentary watching footage of the slaughter houses but we don't get to see what they are watching and I remember wishing I could see it too: be careful what you wish for. In college, I attended a PETA meeting and was shown a very graphic video of a mink being skinned for it's fur and I will never forget it. Vegucated did eventually show us the slaughter houses footage and it was equally difficult to watch. Halfway through the footage I realized that my cousin was crying - not the simple tears running down your cheeks variety but actual crying. Needless to say once the documentary was over we were both vegans and ready to preach veganism to anyone who dared to eat flesh of any kind in our presence. At the time I could not see it but there were several things incredibly wrong with that documentary. However, my eyelids have a date with each other and they will not be dissuaded, so we shall continue our discourse tomorrow!

Where's the juice?

Tonight's blogging soundtrack is brought to you by Prince Royce. I so love his self titled album. I first listened to it on a flight and fell in love with it. It contains beautiful songs and even if you don't understand Spanish, the melodies are beautiful.

So, when I finally decided that a juice cleanse was not going to hinder my travel lifestyle, I came up with the brilliant idea of finding juice bars in every city I travelled to and featuring them on my blog. The tag line "Where's the juice?" seemed so appropriate that I began dreaming of pitching it as a show on FoodTV and maybe even a guest feature on morning shows world wide or on the Travel Channel! Remember what I said about my imagination? While I work on developing those ideas further, for now we shall stick with blogging about my experiences so far.
Before I visit any city or stay at any hotel, I always check Trip Advisor. If Trip Advisor says no, I won't go and it has not failed me yet! The first trip on my cleanse was to Puerto Rico where I spent 2 days and after a day of walking around Old San Juan I finally broke down and got some broth from a random restaurant which was not very good. To be quite honest, I did not make a good enough effort for me to say that juice bars are scarce in San Juan. This was still early in my cleanse and I was too impatient and irritated to do an adequate search. Therefore, I owe San Juan another visit to figure out, Where's the juice?
The next city I visited was San Francisco and well over a month into my juice cleanse. I underestimated the weather in San Francisco in February and so the cold took me by surprise. My first "meal" in San Francisco was some soup from the San Francisco Soup Company. Now let me stop here and address a question some of you might have. Technically a juice cleanse entails consuming nothing but freshly made fruit and vegetable juices and if needed simple broths. However, to each her own, and that is what I did during mine. I had walked over 20 blocks trying to find my hotel, was poorly dressed for the weather hence freezing and consuming cold juice was not going to cut it! So I drank some soup. I got a small because I must admit I did feel a little guilty about consuming something besides juice during a cleanse. However, The San Francisco Soup Company menu features Organic, Vegetarian, Vegan etc options, source locally, care about sustainability and that is a plus in my book. I choose the Organic Tomato Bisque as it was a smooth soup and would be gentle on my stomach's hibernating system. Maybe I was hungry from that mini marathon around the city but the soup tasted heavenly. It was smooth and perfectly balanced. The San Francisco Soup Company is definitely on my gastronomical rotation when next I visit San Francisco.

The next day, I started off the day with an 8 oz serving of Odwalla juice, proceeded to cross the Golden Gate bridge, and walked from Fisherman's Wharf to Castro Street with a detour by Lombard Street. By the time I got to Castro it was night and while I was not necessarily hungry, I knew that my body needed sustenance. It seemed like fate that I stumbled upon Frapez Smoothie Spa.

 One minute I was walking down a dimly lit street and the next thing I know I am looking into a shop with wheat grass on the counter. I almost ran myself over trying to get into the store. The cashier was very knowledgeable and helpful. Upon his recommendation, I decided to try a concoction called Spring which contained Beets, Spirulina, Chlorella, Green Apples, Wheatgrass juice, Plum, Limes.

I love tangy/sweet combos and this juice hit the spot. I am barely able to drink the 16 oz of juice I take to work with me for the day but I sat down then and there and drank every last bit of that juice! It was delicious, refreshing, filling, everything juice should be. What pleased me the most about this experience was that this is a real juice bar.

I could see the Omega juicer, the Vitamix and the fresh fruits and vegetables hanging out in the background. There were no cans or frozen fruit in bags, just freshness everywhere! Frapez is a must if you are a juicer visiting San Francisco because after your visit you won't have to ask, Where's the juice?











Where's the juice was brought to you today by the San Francisco Soup Kitchen and Frapez Smoothie Spa even though they have not compensated me for this review and I paid for all their products I consumed.

Juice of the day.

Random: I am listening to Nina Simone on Songza as I type this. I was watching To Kill A Baby on Discovery Health and thought I could type this up and watch at the same time but of course that is not possible, so it is currently on mute but still on. Why? Well, it is 0148 in the morning, I am home alone and paranoid as heck, so I need the TV to distract my wandering mind from creating things that my conscious self would rather not contemplate!

So my juice for the day was Orange + Carrots + Celery. This concoction came about because I am unable to consume Spinach. During a cleanse, one's digestive system essentially hibernates and instead focuses on cleansing and riding one's body of toxins and all the gunk we have shoved in it for years or however long we have been shoving gunk into our systems. Well, spinach seems to wake my digestive system up not too gently and send it running about dazed and confused which in turn upsets me. The sad thing is I loved the taste of the Spinach + Orange + Basil and thought it would be the juice mix that would see me to the 60+ days finish line. (I just switched to Johnny Cash on Songza and at this time of the night/morning what does he choose to sing? Ain't No Grave!) Part of this cleanse was an opportunity for me to become more positive and so instead of whinging about the fact that I can no longer consume my favorite juice, I decided to find a substitute. While it does not taste as good as the Spinach Orange Basil, it will do. For those who might find the taste of Celery over powering, cucumber may be a good substitute for the celery. And while I did not try the Orange Carrots Celery mix with Basil, I am going to try it tomorrow. I think it needs a little oomph!
Now, I am an avid traveller, a firm believer in the phrase "the world is your oyster" and I am trying to eat as much of said oyster as I can. One of my decisions early this year was to visit someplace new at least twice a month. This was impossible during the first couple of weeks of juicing as I was battling hunger pangs and demons and could concentrate on little less safe trying not to eat my co-workers who were starting to look like food. However, once I got the cravings under control I began making plans for travel and was looking forward to discovering new cities in different ways. This time instead of looking up all the popular restaurants and bars, I would be looking up the juice bars and soup kitchens...kitchens that served broth. I must admit I was very excited about this new way of travel and  saw it as an adventure. As all things in life however, the adventure has been peppered with good and bad and like ying and yang, the good has been very good and the bad has been very bad. In the course of this gastronomical adventure, I have also discovered how full of crap restaurants that label themselves as healthy can be. I have discovered that calorie counts are merely suggestions for if food is not measured properly then said calorie count becomes obsolete. I have seen a Peanut Butter Banana smoothie advertised to contain 300 calories made with a a heaping ladle of peanut butter which should not have served at the measuring device. Now, according to most peanut butter jars I have looked at, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter contain between 180 - 200 calories. If you put in what looks like 4 tablespoons and are still to add the banana and the "low fat yoghurt" which looks like ice cream to me, how can the smoothie still claim to contain 300 calories. Basically, what I have learned is that whenever you eat out, you need to question, contest and adjust - question what your are eating and what is in what you are eating, contest the ingredients or portion sizes and adjust intake following a meal eaten out. This journey has made me question any and everything. I have 1000 questions for the person preparing my food and the sad things is that there are usually not enough answers. I refuse to let these 60+ days be in vain, so I am going to do what I have to do to maintain the sanctity of this freshly laundered body. At least on the inside.